And I own “Webster signs the blues.”

So basically, as you can see, it takes a regular picture and makes it look like crap, but in that warm, cheap, analog kind of way.  Its pretty neat.  The textured border around the image is a pretty nice touch as well.

There are a few drawbacks about this program, however.  For instance, you have essentially no control over the processing.  It would be nice to adjust the coloring or the cropping, but what you see is what you get.  If your image isnt centered, you are pretty much SOL, but it is kind of interesting to see the results regardless.

If you are interested in photo processing, have a Mac, and fear you are going to be going into Polaroid withdrawl in the near future, this may be a better option than blowing your savings to buy a whole bunch of film thats probably going to expire before you can use it anyways.

THE CANNONBALL RUN

Tonight, my manpanion Tom and I weren’t sure what to do about dinner. We were both out of groceries, but didn’t want to shop before going home for thanksgiving. Instead of just ordering a pizza, Tom got creative. We hit up McDonald’s, Burger King, and KFC and got something from each. I chose double cheeseburger, chicken fries, potato wedges, and the colonel’s biscuits for my meal of meals. It was pretty fantastic. I like to remind my digestive track who’s boss every now and again, and what better time than two days before a day based completely around over eating?

P.S. Tom didn’t finish his, and it was all his idea, so if you see him, make fun of him.

So here is episode III of our honest to goodness effort to have a podcast series. Its frankly amazing we’ve made it this far, as the two of us usually don’t follow through with much of anything. This week we get into heavy subjects such as naming your boat, chicken recipes, and old toy commercials. Also, the series now has its own site at Almosteverythingshow.com where you can find all the episodes with a little description. Also, we plan to add a few features such as a weekly poll and a must see section, so keep checking back for those. Anyways, enjoy your weekly dose of nonsense talk, and send any viewer questions to almosteverythingshow@gmail.com. This weeks best viewer question wins a prize. No joke. Its a good one.

Note: The email address that we say in the show is incorrect. The actual one is in the subtitles, but in case you missed it, its almosteverythingshow@gmail.com.

For instance, as we reach our adult years, fashion options for both men and women alike diminish. Long gone are the days of seizure inducing outfits from the Limited Too. No longer is it acceptable to buy clothes pre-wrinkled and frayed. Welcome to a land of earth tones and pleats. However, men have a few more choices than women. The way I see it, my cut of jeans probably won’t change too much from what it is now. I also have the option of khakis and loafers, bermuda shorts, or even possibly seersucker (depending on the fashion of the moment). Women however seem predestined for only one pant:

Mom jeans.

Its an unfortunate fact of life for females everywhere. Once kids pop out of you, bam, high waste lines for life. Meanwhile, my inevitable ponch gut will just force my pants lower and lower. Not that that is necessarily more attractive.

(Side note: Women do win this argument in the work place as they have the option of skirts in warm weather. The only option the man has to cool his sweaty calf is the capri for men, or Man-pri. Source: Kelly Dwyer)

The next option women lack is a fairly obvious one: the bathroom. While the options are endless in terms of shampoos, bodywashes, and loofas, when it comes to sheer basics, there is only one option. Sitting down.

When I have to pee, I can go one two routes. Most times I’ll just do an in-and-out job. Stand up, not even close the door, and do what needs doing. However if I’m feeling lazy and I have no where to be, I might sit for a while, see what happens.

This standing option is especially handy for public restrooming as it leads to me not having to actually touch anything in the room. A womens best bet is to awkwardly hover, and hear tell that can get awfully messy.

The third choice men have is the choice of president of the United States. Given that women naturally can not read, there is no feasible way for them to submit a paper ballot without just randomly filling in circles, and that hardly helps the democratic process. Thus, men only are allowed to enjoy the freedom and glory of fulfilling one’s civic duty.

Oh wait, scratch that last one. I’m being told that was changed in 1920. Oh well, nothing gold can stay. Even still, its a tough and option-less world out there for females when it comes to things that have very little significance on everyday life.

Why raccoons you ask? For your own damn safety, thats why.

I was thinking recently, what would I do if I woke up one night, and there was a raccoon in my room. This is a potentially dangerous situation. I have a small room that is generally kept pretty messy, so if I attempted to just full on wrestle it, things could go south quick. Plus, its to be assumed that the raccoon has been watching you sleep, so he already has the drop on you. My next thought was that I could hit it with the hammer I keep next to my bed, but that could get really messy. I also don’t think I’m really down with killing anything bigger than a bug. I have a hard enough time dealing with mice. The best solution I’ve come up with would be to throw a blanket over it, then scoop up the ends of the blanket to make a raccoon sack.

Finally, and this part is very important, hang the racc sack out the window. This way, you don’t have to deal with the squirming, and you won’t chance accidentally releasing a now extra ornery raccoon back into your living environment. Plus, if he does get out, its his ass falling three stories down, not yours. You just sit back and wait for animal control.